"Not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree. Saying nothing, that's enough for me."
Woods by paumatias
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There's just a whole bunch of negativities I want to stick in this blog so when time comes that I'll be looking back at how awful everything was (and probably still is) then I'd have something to laugh about or maybe be happy about that they're all in the past. I want to remember how I will always be misunderstood. How I am not so sure if I'm enjoying my (practicum) work right now. How I hate to commute but I think I'm not ready to learn how to drive just yet. How my eyesight keeps on getting worse every year. How my fat is clinging to my body like a leech. How my co-officers and I do not meet halfway. How my step brother is getting on my nerves and apprently, everyone else's too. Why it took me too long to finish the count of monte cristo even though it was one of the best books I've read in my entire life. How I hate the thought of missing four days in class (and possibly more) just because of ojt. So on and so forth....
But I think I've just had enough with negativities. I have my Okim to listen to all the never-ending tales of nonsense I keep for everyday of my life and reserve until the time when I can "make kwento" to him.
And now will be the part where I switch from bitching to talking about the center of my life. Because he has been patient with me, even though he knows how much repetitive my emotions can get and how never-ending the negativities will be. I kind of appreciate him tolerating my tales. Well I just appreciate him immensely.
After so long, we finally managed to watch a movie and visit my favorite place and his least favorite place.
The Great Gatsby. I kind of hated the soundtrack. I don't understand why the movie has to mix pop song vocal into 20's, 40's flapper-ish music. I don't get it. And the costume plus the setting, although very beautiful and all, did not look realistic because the cinematography did not transalte the vintage kind of vibe of The Great Gatsby. I'm not trying to be a critique here. It's just not my cup of tea. But The Great Gatsby nevertheless was very beautiful. The movie was actually a spontaneous choice. Something I'm not used to with Okim.
My problem with him. I kept on nagging him on why he don't surprise me like other boyfriends do to their partners. Why he never gives me flower unless there's an occasion. Something I don't tell him but I keep on thinking, he does not buy me gifts or take me out on a date that he would be the one to plan on where to go, what to do, where to eat, etc. I think he's not putting the effort and sweetness he used to give back when were still not exclusively dating.
I'm at this point of accepting that he's not that kind of boyfriend. And I am just being a brat. Looking at everything, I actually enjoy his company. I forget all my problems. He doesn't really say much. But sometimes, that is exactly just what I need. Physical presence of someone. No one even needs to talk. You just need to feel each other's skin (no malice) or hear each other breathe, or see each other's beauty (no conceit).
Being a crazy superstitious lady that I am, I felt bad. Because I was thinking of our US vacation this 2014. Sad part though was that he was not granted a visa in his attempt to renew his expired one. Suddenly, all
I hope that whatever we plan or talk about regarding our future are merely part of being hopeful, and not jinx.
Good night.