"Not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree. Saying nothing, that's enough for me."
Woods by paumatias
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Tonight, I will not be ranting. There's no more space in here for getting mad. Tonight....
See, being sad has always being something I'm good at. Being sad lends me an unusual kind of comfort - it makes me happy. I think the people who makes you happy are those who are experiencing pain on the inside.
Last two nights ago I had a dream and I don't know why I did because I thought that I have forgotten about a certain little memory that I clearly remembered to burn in fire. It sucks balls to know that I am of no control when I dream, regardless of the crap that science claims that our waking life reflects what we dream. Like that night I dreamt of having a tooth fall off and they say it signifies someone's going to die. Well I am not afraid of it because everyone dies everyday anyway be it me or someone else dear to me. So technically for me, the significance of the dream makes no sense.
I miss being surrounded by people. Even my boyfriend makes me feel as if I'm an existing limit (oh dear lord, what calculus does). I was kind of relieved that an old high school friend came knocking at my dorm room door the other night. When she started talking, I felt taken years back we were still sitting in the same classroom. It was the first time after so long that I bitched about random stuff to an old friend. It really is different to talk to someone of your past, it makes everything appear more normal. And that old friend right is one of the people who I honestly think make a good point about practically anything, as I have always been an observer. And she still makes me laugh the way she always does about four years ago. It was surreal though I didn't expect it.
So I guess I shall continue this tomorrow night when I feel that my fingers are crunchy enough to handle more typing. As of now, good night whoever you are and I hope that you wake up from a beautiful dream.