"Not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree. Saying nothing, that's enough for me."
Woods by paumatias
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Hobbies prevalent nowadays are so "colorful" and sadly, I am only good at boosting my self-confidence through frustrated writing and music-crafting.
All these times I thought I was the only creature of my age and whatever-you-call-it here in MNL who does the thing I do - produce music. Then I stumbled upon SomeDayDream and to my sanity, I actually know the guy. He used to be a friend's former lover. Weird thing, I thought he only play guitar and bass, who knew he'd be up on myspace actually producing and writing to his own music (which is tasty, by the way). And his school was a footstep or two away from mine. Small world.
Just last month I heard his song on the local radio. Odd. He must have gone that huge already. Then last month too, I heard his song again on the radio while I was buying cerealicious in my university. Now that's something. Then just a few hours ago, I saw him playing live on raw TV. Wow. My jaw-dropped, reality kicked me in the dent of my left leg, and I just had to grab a paper bag and put over my head for the next 3 minutes or so.
I held the tears back, kept my composure intact while I tear the paper bag apart. Hypocrisy set aside, I felt envious. His music, THE COVER OF HIS CD (I think, the one wherein he's carrying a 25-key midi keyboard), everything. That's what I've always wanted. But apart from these, what he is currently doing was what I was most trying to do - mold the local music scene into another state. Influence it and possibly change it with my bare fingers, my head, and my heart. However, I'm still here and my efforts are still barely getting noticed. What's frustrating is that I can never reshape the local music scene without getting noticed. I never really longed to get "famous".
All I wanted was to revive the good old Rhythm and Blues here in the country because in my pure honesty (no, I'm not crossing my fingers this time) OPM is getting generally pop-rock, and I am saying this with both of my ears open and willing to listen and not just hear.
I'm speaking on behalf of southborder, freestlyle, and all the like who have ones made it but are now barely making a scene. With the efforts of emerging R&B artists, mockery and criticisms arise first before even trying to listen. I'm trying to find R&B its place back in the local music scene. (Seems as if there's no more room for just one more now don't we....)
The mass will never get it. No one will understand what I'm trying to do. I participated in a local music forum before and in my usually sissy effort, I bravely made a few locals listen to my music just so they have a glimpse of what I was talking about - reviving R&B here in the country. One clueless mind asked me why I would want to make him listen to my works. I never really get to answer because nothing is to be said. It was all in his screen and he is just too hungry for words.
Now I'm whipping up a RNB ballad that I no longer intend for others to hear. It's the best one I made yet and I'm going to give it to someone who appreciates what I do in every little angle.