My struggle to know what’s right from wrong was just sitting in one corner, and was hit by words. Words that are too apparent yet are deadly. Just too sudden.

I thought my words are extinct, not plain to see - something quite hard to grasp. I would not want anyone to comprehend my thoughts anyway if he or she does not even know a thing or two that comes out of my useless thinking. My words are nothing but a barrel of a gun, something that I think is lethal enough. Again, as miserable as this may sound, I will say it…

I was wrong.

My favorite weapon became benign all of a sudden, harmless. Then I realized, someone who is eager to know your inner core may turn out to be someone who knows you better than yourself. Funny thing, that’s my biggest fear – letting someone know who you truly are before you even know yourself. And now, it’s slapping me at both sides of my face.

It extensively took me 9 months, 29 days, and 30 minutes to be aware that I was indeed becoming someone I never wanted to be – a person with two different personalities. All of these years I was living in denial that I am made-up of only one self. No more, no less.

I acted as if I was right. That speaking rubbishly and typing words on and on is something adequate. My body treated this habit as something similar to the reception of smokers with nicotine. I became highly addicted to being rude, jotting random words without setting any limits, and setting myself into this position wherein I feel most comfortable being literately bashful.

It extensively took me 9 months, 29 days, and 30 minutes to sink into me the fact that I was indeed becoming someone I never wanted to be, but it only took me one person to make all of these sink in. And that is you.

If you can only see how this little exchange of words really molded me back to the person you loved from the start. And you ask me who I am?

- I am still that girl whom who likes playing the piano, but likes it even better when she’s playing it in front of her favorite listener.

- I am still that girl who hates cats, Gregorian chant, and the sound of the chalk screeching on a blackboard.

- I am still that girl who is fascinated with the whimsical (odd; too good to be true) world of peter pan, city lights, and magic tricks.

- I am still that girl who eventually became your girl-friend.

- I am still that girl who likes baking cookies because she knows how much her boyfriend likes them.

- I am still that girl who disappoints you once in a while yet hopes you still love her despite her unusual being that she is slowly trying to let go of.