"Not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree. Saying nothing, that's enough for me."
Woods by paumatias
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People who REALLY know me can see how I've completely transformed into a huge wreck for the last two years (and counting). The all gullible, preppy, and fickle-minded twirp suddenly became an asshole. I know I shouldn't be saying this but I can't help it. Other people just kept on pulling my trigger and I in return would fire like hell, but I then always irritatingly miss.
I still am living in no denial that I am clinging to just myself alone now. I am a hundred percent awake and aware. In no company, no friends, loner, loser, outcast, freak, what have you. That's who I'm known for now. That is WHAT I'm know for now. I don't get it. I find it hard to relate to people now after be traumatized during my baby steps in college.
Now on the less darker side, I shifted my course and I met new people. Not so good. Picture this. I'm a corned beef and I was miscanned into a tin of sardines. New people, new faces, new everything. I got to meet some of the most immature set of people in my entire life. Well, I still get to meet nicer people but it seems as if they see me as someone too old to welcome into their own little groups. No worries, I'm alright with that, people getting uncomfortable with the thought of me being with them. But some of them still never fail to piss me to my limits.
It's my NSTP field work on sunday and I badly need the parental consent form. And of course I need to be informed about the itinerary. I contacted each and everyone of them and they would not fucking reply. I call them, they won't answer. I believe that even if I am on my last dying breath, they still wont respond to me.
LIKE WHAT AM I, A GHOST? NO? HOW ABOUT A CONCRETE WALL? NO? HOW ABOUT MY FIST ON YOUR FACES? You all act as if you don't acknowledge my existence. What is up with all of you? I'm here trying to be responsible enough (AGAIN) for my own sake because I don't belong in your section and we all know that we have clashing schedules. But I am willing to sacrifice my classes just so I can meet any of you to have the parental consent form photocopied but you still don't recognize that huh. I'm not shallow but you always treat me as if I don't belong and I'm tired of it. You have done the worst thing to me. Especially when I kept on asking you face to face and you don't look at me, no answer, no nothing. Rude beyond words. Who does that? Pricks.
I'm swearing to each of you. If I meet you again after I walk out of college, don't even look at me in the eye. If I catch you, run away. I'd shove granades in your mouths.